Monday, January 31, 2011

Hello Monday!



I would love to share how my weekend went with you. However, I do not wish to incriminate myself.  Let's just say that it was a blast.  Thank God, my birthday only comes once a year.  Otherwise, I probably wouldn't survive many more.   Naughty Nancy has been put to bed for awhile while Nurse Nancy takes over.

It is another Monday.  Usually a day dreaded by so many.  The weekend is over and we must do something proactive.  This week will be full of studying, care plans, drug sheets, another OB test, basketball practices, girl scout meetings and everything else my life entails.  And I am ready for it.  Why?  I think its because I got my groove on this weekend.  I had fun. I was able to just let go and not worry.  I am refreshed for this week.  Not necessarily re-energized (I partied too hard for that) though.

Here is my advice... Get Yo Freak On!  Just once in awhile.  We all need to release our stressors and freak out a bit.  Everybody freaks in a different manner.  Whatever works for you.  I love to dance, get rowdy and have a few (too many) drinks.  Get silly!    Let it all go for one night.  You will see that everything will look much better come Monday morning.  Sunday you need to recover.  Other moms are always telling me they don't know how I do what I do.  I tell them I'm not sentenced to my life. I want to live it and enjoy it.  Sometimes it overwhelms me but that is when I know I need to release it for a moment.

You have my permission to Get Yo Freak On.  Mondays will start to look better if you do.

FYI- I don't encourage it for every weekend.   Be safe and legal ;)   (as legal as you can be )

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Happy Freakin Birthday To Me!

I will be honest.  I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY!  Ya, I know, I'm not five anymore but why shouldn't I celebrate my birthday.  I'm no Bella (there is my Twilight reference for this post) where I dread my birthday.  Of course if I was hot for a young vampire who didn't age I probably wouldn't like my birthday either.  But that is not the case here so I am gonna woop it up. 

I know as we get older we are to graciously celebrate our birthday and go on with the year.  I never understood that.  I always look forward to my birthday. Its not because I am expecting presents and anything awesome but because it is my day.  This is my day to celebrate me. I have survived... ugh... 33 years (sigh that hurt to type).  Why not be excited about it? 

This year I have my dear friends, Ben and Jen, in da house to help me rock it out.  I'm freakin stoked.  At about 5pm tonight I will shed my mommy exterior and become Naughty Nancy.  Won't my hubby be excited.  My nursing pals will be meeting me at my friend's bar and we are going to dance our faces off.  This is what I really want.  To have fun with fantastic friends who love me and make me laugh.  What gift could be better?

So what I am getting older.  While at this point in my life I'm a bit weirded out by that, but hey what can you do?  I survived another year.  If that doesn't require a night of drinking and debauchery I don't know what does.

Happy Freakin Birthday To Me!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Sweet Young Love

O' sweet, young love.  How special it is!  But how young is too young?  I remember my first "boyfriend", Jamie Meeks.  We were in kindergarten.  Mainly my only memory of him was that my mother and I picked him up at his house to take him roller skating.  He gave me a heart shaped box of chocolates.  Half of them were missing because his baby sister ate them.  I remember skating with Jamie and sitting in the middle of the rink while the "Thriller" video played on the video screen.  Then he wet his pants, had to put on a pair of mine on (mom had an extra pair in the station wagon) and we left to take him home.  While this wasn't a love connections and was just two friends going skating, I had in my head that he was my "boyfriend"  At six years old?  What was my mother thinking?  I'm sure it went something like this, "Oh they are so cute.  Little boyfriend and girlfriend, how sweet!"  Times were more innocent then.

However, as I grew up, I had many boyfriends.  And I can remember each one (that could be a good or bad thing).  For the most part just innocent relationships until I reached the six grade.  This was the age when you began to have more physical feelings.  However, holding hands and a stolen peck on the lips was where these feelings led to.  I remember holding my boyfriend's hand on the bus.  Or stealing a kiss at the teen center before running to my mom's car.  This went on through the eighth grade.  Hearts broken over first "love".

High school was a totally different level.  No longer just with my grade level I had to worry about senior boys.  Looking back at the boyfriends I had in high school I just shake my head.  Each one seemed to be the love of my life.  "The One".  My heart was broken many times in high school.  And then put back together by the next one.  The physical part of these relationships became intense, however, I never went past that point of no return.

Not until after graduating high school and spending the summer away from home did I meet my first true love.  But at eighteen years old I was still too young for such a serious relationship and it did not last.  As I mentioned in my previous post I met my now husband at the age of twenty.  While I think its young now, it was perfect timing then.  God put us in that place because he had a plan for us.

Looking back through my history of "love", I am fearful for my children.  I am so glad that they have come so far without worrying about relationships.  My oldest is in fifth grade. She is a beautiful little girl and at this moment boys are her friends and that is where it ends.  In a world where children are over sexed and made to grow up much fast I am thankful that my children are not being affected by that as much as others are.

Last night we were at a basketball game. Our catholic school was playing the public middle school.  Now I am not saying one type of school is better than the other but private school does have it's benefits.  As I watched my daughter run up and down the court I would also keep an eye on the young couple sitting a few bleachers below me.  They had to be six or seventh grade at the oldest.  They were sitting so close to each other that they were practically sitting on top of one another.  Seriously, I wanted to go down there and tell them to leave a little room for the Holy Spirit.  The boy had his arm around the girl.  I knew that if he went for the reach around I would jump down those bleachers.  She may not be mine and he is not mine but come on.  I remember holding hands and the stolen pecks but cuddling up so close in front of a packed gym?  Never!!  It made me nervous because my daughter is growing up so fast.  I want her to enjoy being a child.  But in a few short years she will want to go to games with her boyfriend and hold hands.  For now she gets to stay my little girl.

I don't want her to rush into "love" like I did.  Growing up it seemed like I couldn't go on without a boyfriend.  Like I had to have someone else attached to me to be whole.  Only when did I truly know that that wasn't the truth did I find true love.  This is one reason I won't let her read the Twilight series.  She is smart enough to read the book and keep up with it.  However, the novels aren't just about young teenage love.  Its a strong love.  That type of love comes with many sacrifices.  My daughter is way too young to comprehend all of that and I don't want her to have to try.  Besides it would be way to weird if she were to start crushing on Edward Cullen like I do.  Plus, I would have to disown her if she went "Team Jacob".

I know this post has gone on for ever. I was just pondering "young love".  When is too young?  How do we protect them?  How will I survive it?

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Square Peg in Circle Hole

Remember when you were younger and no matter what you did it was wrong?  You would yell back at your parents, "Its my life. I can do whatever the hell I want to do with it."  Most of us have been there.  Those days of trying to figure out what we wanted.  Wondering what our future held.  Becoming the person we were meant to be. It was hard.  Very hard.  I remember feeling like a square peg trying to fit into the circle hole the world had ready for me.  It just wasn't working.

When I went to college I did not have a clue where to go.  I was so young.  How do we expect someone so young to make such a big decision about their future before they have lived?  I was a drama major for two years.  Yup, I can do stage combat and a pretty awesome monologue.  However, there isn't much of a need in the midwest for this type of career. 

I remember trying to grow up.  Fit into that circle hole just like everyone else.  I had a mature relationship that when looking back I cringe.  I thought I was so in love but it wasn't real.  After one year that relationship ended and I finally made one of my first adult decisions.  Just live.

Once I made this decision and surrounded myself with people who truly loved me for me my life changed.  I met the man who would become my husband and the father of my children.  I decided to leave college and got married at the age of 21. To some that may seem way to young to get married and for most it is.  But for me I was living.  My husband is my best friend.  He sees me for me and I don't have to pretend to be anyone else. 

However, after a couple of years I once again was trying to fit into that circle hole.  I tried to make my house look like others.  Be the type of  wife and mother that others thought I should be.  I was going through the motions of my life.  Like one of the robots at Disney World.  Doing exactly what they are programmed to do.  Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't really change any of my past.  But I still wasn't the person that I wanted to be.  I felt like I was faking it.

Fast forward to the present.  Things are turning around.  I have really been thinking about who I am and what others may see.  This is one of the reasons I decided to go to nursing school.  It was something I never would have thought about at the age of 18.  I hadn't lived enough to know that I would actually be good at it.  I really do have a passion for nursing.  It inspires me and motivates me.  I am very excited about the learning and the newness it is bringing to my life. 

I have also decided that I am not going to hide who I really am anymore.  Sure, I am a wife, mother, sister, student, girl scout leader, religion teacher and so on.  But why should I fake who I am because of what someone else feels those people (listed above) should be like. 

Here is who I am.... I am Nancy Marie.  I have always been in my head.  Ever since I was little I would get lost in thought or in a day dream.  It would drive my mother crazy and she even took me to the doctor about it.  It never affected my school work or how I interacted with others but it weirded her out because I was in my own little world.  I haven't changed.  There are days I just want to turn music on and get lost in my head again.  I don't get that chance all to often because I do have responsibilities. 

I also write.  I write silly little poems about my kids or more serious about my marriage.  I love writing.  If I could truly get paid for it I would do it.  I am constantly writing up little stories.  And I don't write happy stories.  I have a very dark side when it comes to what I write and read.  Maybe its because I do have a happy life that I need to fill my dark side quota.  Who knows. 

I listen to all types of music.  I don't have a specific genre that I listen to.  I love Britney Spears as much as I love Cat Stevens.  Music is music and its all wonderful.  To add to that... I love to dance.  I will get up and dance and shake my much larger ass if I want to.  Its who I am.  And yes I will dance naughty because I am an adult. 

I love to go out and drink and be rowdy with my friends.  Yes, we make sure to have a DD.  Yes, safety first.  I don't want to have to worry about always being on my best behavior because of what someone else may think.  Screw them. 

I understand that there is a time and place for everything.  I know when to be professional and went to act out.  But I am tired of hiding behind of what I think everyone else wants to see.  I will be turning 29 (33 if you are actually keeping track) this Saturday.  By now I know what I want.  I still want my husband. I love him so much and he truly is my best friend.  I want my children.  Oh, they are such beautiful, small human beings.  I want to be an amazing nurse.  I want to get lost in thought.  I want to dance.  I want to be me and let all the world know who Nancy Marie is.  I'm not perfect.  But I am me.  This is what you get.  And if you don't like it.. well guess what... I think you need to find out who you really are. 

Monday, January 24, 2011

Yeah Today is not a Snow Day!

Thank you God!  Today the kids went back to school.  Last week due to all the snow they had two days off of school.  While I don't mind not having to wake them up and get them out the door, I do mind that my house turns into crazy town.  Normally, snow days are just lazy days.  Now that I am in school it is a bit different.  We don't get snow days.  Which I think is a bit ridiculous since the roads were really nasty last week.  Oh well.  That's life. It did cause problems as I had to figure out childcare that I normally would not have needed.  So don't hate me when I jump up and down that my kids are at school today.  I love them so much but I am really enjoying this peace and quiet. Until 3pm that is. 

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Second Semester of Nursing

My second semester of nursing has begun. We are two weeks into the semester and already have one huge test under our belts.  We started the semester learning about surgery.  We are now into the meat and potatoes of nursing. I'm loving it.  Sort of.  The pace of the program has picked up now that we are into more important subjects.  The pace isn't what bothers me.  Its the fact that we rush through the subjects that I began to wonder if I really learn any of it all.  Yes, on my first test of the semester I received an A on it.  I am ecstatic for such a good grade.  But do I really know it?

Right now we are learning about OB.  I was so excited when I first opened my Baby-Mama book.  The joke from my friends on Facebook was that since I have birthed four babies then I should be teaching the class.  Well, I won't go as far to say I know everything about having babies but I'm no dummy either.  I love the whole baby making process.  Once I made decision to go into nursing it was because of OB.  I have seen horrid OB nurses and spectacular ones.  But I am disappointed once again with the pace we are going through it.  We aren't allowed a lot of time for discussion.  I was hoping for some good videos to do some teaching.  Instead we have had lectures followed up with, "But you won't need to know that until your second year."  That drives me insane.  We did watch a video that was made in 1973.  OMG...  It was a slide show that had been transferred to DVD.  It even had the beeps on the voice over to tell you when to change slides.  While it did give us a visual on some of the fetal positions it was more funny than anything.  Where does all this money we pay for the nursing program go?  They just raised our tuition (yes, only the nursing tuition) this past year.  Surely, we can afford decent videos.

So there is my little rant.  I just wish we did more than just lecture.  But I guess that is what our clinicals are for.  I am ready to get my hands dirty.  To learn.  To observe.  I am really looking forward to going into the OR and watching a surgery from start to finish.  I am usually not the type of person who gets ill at guts and gore so we shall see how I do.  I also will hopefully get to put in catheters and other fun stuff.  As for OB, since I am only a first year, we may get to go for one day to a women's hospital to observe.  But that is it.  I'll take it for now.  I will just look forward to next year when we can do more for OB.

Alright, I am going to head off now.  I will try to do some studying today but boy those nursing books are incredibly boring.  I will try and keep you posted of how everything is going.  I hope you all have a great week.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Party Like a Rock Star! Yes, I Will!

Whew.... 2011 has just begun and we have been going nonstop.  We rang in the New Year at our favorite camp.  We visited with fabulous friends and listened to awesome music.  All the kids ran around and got soda and sugar wasted.  Seriously, I found my two year old crashed on the couch and my nine year old asleep on the floor buried under sofa cushions. My daughters actually made it to their bunks before crashing.  There was no where to drive to so we adults could enjoy the festivities as well.  And we did.  We hung out in the rain and had philosophical conversations about the stars and the nakedness of the trees. It was a gorgeous night after the clouds cleared away. The sky was clear and you felt like if you reached up you could grab a star and hold it in your palm. 

The following week the kids went back to school. Well, kind of.  We had to battle fevers and colds.  Our family only shares when we are sick.  But everyone was back to full health that next weekend.  Which was a good thing since we had to go out of town again for my daughter's basketball tournament.  We stayed with good friends who didn't mind the craziness our family brought to their house.  We had a blast watching the basketball games and hanging out with longtime friends who came to cheer on my daughter.  They came in fourth place.  Of course, staying with friends means late night talks around the kitchen table accompanied by many drinks... way too many drinks.  Oh my gosh we laughed so hard and danced around the kitchen.  Good times!  That night, or morning, I was the first to crash.  That cold that my family liked to share had finally reached me.
The following week was horrid.  My cold was a killer and all I wanted to do was sleep.  But no sleep for me, as my nursing classes started back up.  I was miserable.  The week went by too slow. 

The next weekend (last weekend) my family went to Missouri for my sister's wedding.  I was finally beginning to get over the worst of my cold and was feeling much better.  The weekend went by fast but we had a blast.  My sister looked amazing as a bride.  I cried many tears when she and her husband had their first dance.  I am the oldest of four girls.  And we are not a quiet bunch.  So the reception was loud and wild.  We danced our faces off.  And we drank... too much... again.  Luckily for us, one of my sisters is pregnant and was the DD.  So we did not have to worry about driving back to the hotel.  We survived another weekend of wildness.

I am proud to say that the effect of the partying did not stop me from doing well on my first nursing exam of the semester.  Yup, I aced it. 

This weekend is a calm weekend.  By that I mean we are not going anywhere.  At least I am not going anywhere.  I going to relax and watch movies with my kiddos.  Next weekend, however, is an entirely different story.  I will be celebrating my (cough, cough) 29th (ahem) birthday.  And I plan on partying like a rock star yet again.

Who said that once you married and have kids that you could no longer have fun and be completely inappropriate?