Saturday, February 27, 2010

Maybe It's Not Mean't To Be

As of right now I am on the waiting list for the nursing program that I applied for. I am thirty two years old without a degree or a career. There are moments when I wonder what the hell am I doing trying to go back to school. Maybe I should just finish my CNA class and do that for the rest of my life. But I really don't want that. It is very frustrating feeling that no matter what you do you cannot get ahead. I know boohoo, get over it you are probably saying. Haven't you ever felt the need to prove yourself. Not to just prove it to others but to yourself. I want to show myself that I can be successful. I can be a great nurse.

I know my grade point average wasn't grea. I did not try my hardest when I first went to college in 1996. I really did not care then. Now I have a 4.0 gpa and it really doesn't matter.

Well I am not giving up even though it sounds like I am being as pitiful as possible. We all need our pity moments, right? I am praying that someone will decide that they don't want their spot in the program and I will get my chance. There are also other programs that will help me on my way. Hopefully, I will get into the program soon.

Maybe it's not meant to be... Bull! I will make it! I just have to keep telling myself that.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Snow day

Its another snow day! The kids and I are quietly sitting near the fireplace as we sip hot chocolate with marshmallows. My youngest is asleep on my lap. Sigh. So peaceful... SO FALSE!!!!

If you have children you would know that this scenario is not very common if it ever happens at all.

My kids tend to view snow days as a "Lets see just how crazy we can make mom." The answer is very crazy.

No one gets out of their pjs because that would require some work. We pretty much just hang out and watch tv or play video games. Right now the older three children are playing in the backyard in the snow. They have built three little midget snowmen. I have already told them twice to come in before they get frostbite. It is time for lunch and then hopefully peace and quiet while we watch a movie and I take a nap. (Sorry that was a typo, while my youngest takes a nap :)

Snow days seem to fall on the days that I have planned to run errands or catch up on housework. This means that I never leave the house and said house gets messier. The benefit of snow days being on this day is because I do not have class. Therefore, I don't have to beg anyone to watch the kids at the last minute.

This snow day is relatively calm. But I can just feel something is about to happen. Mutiny. Since I started typing I have asked the kids to come inside four times now. I will keep yelling from my backdoor because it is to damn cold for me to go outside. I am still in my pjs.

What's this I hear? Three snow covered kiddos coming through the backdoor. "Strip down," I yell from the kitchen. We did mop the floor today and I don't want to do it again. Their cheeks and noses are rosy and they are excited about their midget snow men.

My youngest daughter is begging for hot chocolate as she sniffs her nose.

Snow days! I guess they really aren't that bad. We are going to sit down and eat a hot lunch with hot chocolate. Then a movie!

Don't get me wrong... I hope school isn't canceled tomorrow!

Friday, February 12, 2010