Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Shit Has Hit the Fan!
Yup, the shit hit the fan earlier today. And you know what happens when shit hits the fan? It is flung all over the damn room!
Here is what happened...
It was a sunny morning. The kids were sent off without a worry and surprisingly enough no yelling to hurry up After the house was void of kids I sat down with a cup of coffee and started to study for my test. I had been studying a little here and there. I thought I was doing pretty good. My test was at 1200. Right off the bat I knew I wasn't doing well. After taking the test our instructor went over the answers. As each question went by I was getting more and more upset. I knew I had flunked my first nursing test. The questions were horrible. When I asked my instructor about a certain question she couldn't give me a reason why the answer was what it was. Instead I was told to find what I thought to be correct in the book and challenge it on paper. Like, I have time for that! So before I exploded in front of my classmates I turned back in my test and left the room, walked to my van, drove like a bat out of hell to my house, stormed into my house, flung my purse across the living room and bawled like a child.
I had an A. Now this new grade did not make me fail the class and I still have a high B but I was so upset because I couldn't get a straight answer from my instructor. Fine, my answer is wrong. Please let me know why your answer is correct. Isn't that how we should be learning? Instead of because the key said so. So I was in a pretty shitty mood.
When you are in a bad mood it makes everything worse. I was such a grouch and very mean to my husband. My shit was spreading all over the room. I was so upset with myself. I should of studied more. I should stay off facebook. Finally, I began to calm down and regain my senses. It was one test. I was still passing.
Then I got a text from a classmate making sure I was okay. She did not do very well on the test either. While I was texting her another classmate messaged me on FB to make sure I was doing okay. She also cried when she left class. Once grades were posted I checked the class average. We don't see individual grades but can see how we do as a class. 77% A passing grade for nursing program is 78%. So as a class we failed the test. That should be a sign to our instructor that this test is for the birds. After seeing this I began to feel a bit better. Still pissed that I flunked the test but knew that I was also in good failing company.
I cleaned up the mental shit that was spread all over. Moved onto other things that needed my attention. Like the Girl Scout meeting I had to plan for...Becoming Teenagers. Yup, periods and all that. And that will be another post for another day.
Now, after my disappointing day, I am ready just to sit on my butt, watch tv and not think about nursing at all. At least for tonight!