Yawn

Yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn.....

See where I am going with this?  I am wiped out after a 10-6am shift.  We have a busy day today with soccer and football games.  My wonderful husband will be doing the running while I catch up on sleep.  Then tonight I get to study.  I hope that I will get to have a lazy Sunday.  I hope you all are enjoying your weekend. Hopefully soon I will have a new post for you.

The Kardashians couldn't keep up with me

Whew!  Its been awhile since I've been on.   As you know I was accepted into the local LPN program right before classes began about 3 months ago.  So far so good.  I am enjoying the class discussions and am beginning to get to know my fellow classmates.  We have had two tests and I scored an A on both of them.  I am really excited by my grades.  But I have been studying hard and praying a lot. 

Since I got into the nursing program I also started working part time at a local nursing home. I am working nights but only a few a week.  Yes, this is annoying.  But I have to be able to pay the sitter so I can go to school, therefore I must work.  Nasty cycle isn't it.  Of course, our bills are happy that I have a job.  Things won't be so tight at least.    The downside to working is that it messes up my sleep schedule and I am pretty grouchy the day after I work.  This makes me feel guilty which kind of adds to my stress.  Also, our nursing program faculty doesn't seem to be very supportive of students working.  My instructor just had to mention that a student who worked nights while in the program last year didn't make it.  Boo!  Well I'm going to make it.

Added to school and work are my volunteer projects. I am a girl scout leader for two troops.  Both my girls are in scouts.  I know I could take time off of this while in school and that my daughters would understand but this is a time I need to be with them.  I cannot get these two years back once they are gone.  Plus I want to be a role model for my children.  If you want it bad enough you can do it.  We started the GS year off with a potluck picnic at our local state park.  It was a wonderful night watching the girls and their families play.  It was also an easy night.  I am blessed to have wonderful parents to help me out too.  I have cut back on the extra activities so I can concentrate on more important things.  I am going to have to stand in front of a mirror and practice saying no.  My kids already believe that I am an expert on the word no.

On top of all this I still have to do housework and care for my family.  I will never and have never had a spotless home.  But it is clean.... for the most part.  Crock pot dinners will be the norm.  I am trying to make dinners my family will enjoy but also won't take a ton of time to create. 

I am not doing all this on my own.  I know some people have to.  I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who is by my side and wants to see me succeed.  Yes, we go a couple of days without really talking.  We just aren't in the same place at the same time or awake at the same time.  Just the other day Jason asked how everything was.  I said fine and then about three seconds later started bawling.  I was so overwhelmed with how I was going to accomplish everything.  After a good hearty cry I felt much better. 

There are moments everyday when I wonder how I will survive all of this.  I want to do well in school.  I want to be able to help my family financially.  I want to be an active participant in my children's lives.  Everyday someone tells me that they don't know how I do it all.  Sometimes I wonder if there is a pool somewhere with people taking bets on when I will give up.  Just kidding everyone for the most part has been really supportive.   

So are you exhausted in reading this?  See the Kardashians have nothing on me.  I'm sure a life of luxury is oh so hard.  I would like to see them keep up with me.  Just for a day!

Wordless Wednesday

My daughter's cute little sandwiches and her sandwich size snackTAXI.  She was so excited to take her lunch to school.

Sitter found but still looking for my sanity

Since I am going back to school full time this year I am going to need child care for my 20 month old son.  We had a great sitter lined up but since I ended up getting into the nursing program she was unable to take him for the hours I need.  So I made a few calls.  One to a daycare.  Thursday I stopped by the day care but it seemed that there were too many children for such a small space.  They had they required amount of caregivers and were planning to expand but something about it just wasn't right with me. It is a very dull environment.  The walls are a stark white and there aren't many colors at all anywhere.  The caregivers were polite and seemed nice to the children.  I, however, was not won over.  Plus they couldn't guarantee that they would be able to take my son when I needed to change my school schedule.  So I kept looking.

The sitter we have chosen has known my husband since he was little.  I went to meet with her and decided that we would send our son to her.  She is a licensed day care provider which means she is has to follow strict guidelines set by the state of Illinois.  The best part is that she will use Tim's cloth diapers.  I won't have to go out and buy disposable diapers just for the sitter.  Yeah.  Instead I may go buy some more cloth diapers so I am sure I have plenty for the sitter and at home. 

Tim will have to go to the sitter full time while I am in school.  I may also start working nights this next week at a nursing home nearby.   So when I get home I can take him to the sitters and then go home to sleep before nursing class.

I know everything is crazy.  My head has been spinning since this past Monday.  But I just have to tell myself that it will work out.  We will make it through the next two years.  I am just glad that I have found a sitter and that I may soon be working.  Wish me luck.

The Journey Begins

Yesterday morning I called my adviser and told her that I was accepting the spot in the nursing program.  I then made an appointment to meet with her so that I can get my schedule and all the necessary paperwork started. 

Wow! There is a ton of paperwork.  Health physicals, drug screenings, immunizations (if you don't have them), background checks, and of course accepting the new class schedule.  I have so much to do.

This was how I felt after meeting with my nursing adviser!

Yesterday, after meeting with my adviser, I bought my books from the bookstore.  I have been blessed to receive the Pell grant and the IMAP this year.  Thank God, otherwise I wouldn't be able to afford all this.  My books (14 of them some in packages of two or more) cost about $1000... maybe a little over.  I am not lying when I say that I felt like I was going to pass out.  The girl working behind the counter asked which books I wanted.  I didn't have a clue. I gave her my bookstore voucher I received from the financial services desks showing what I had available from my grants and said "What can I get with this?"  Kind of like the little kid at the candy store dropping all his pennies on the counter.  Luckily I was able to get all the books listed.  Unluckily I wouldn't doubt that I have over 60 pounds of books.  I had to have help carrying them to my van.  

  Today I am off to my doctor's office.  Its a good thing I just found a new doctor for me. I've never really had a general family doctor, just my lady doctor.  I had a general physical last week.  So today I am just going back to have the form filled out and to receive a few vaccines, like HepB and the varicella vaccine.  Yeah, shots!

Then later today I will work on getting my background check started.  I am glad that I have other requirements out of the way.  Like my TB test (although I think I have to have another one step so I don't have get one in the middle of the program), CPR certified and my CNA out of the way. 

Since I was accepted so late to the program I was unable to participate in some of the programs for the other students held during the summer.  One of them is called Strategies for Success.   Every nursing student at our college is required to take it.  You get credit for it. It is suppose to help teach study skills and all that good stuff.  I, will have to take it as an independent study.  I am not sure when or where.  I am still waiting for information on all that.  

Even though I have my books I still need to purchase a few things. Stethoscope, lab coat,  school program patches, uniform, pen light... I have white shoes.  There isn't a whole lot that I need. I am sure they will tell us more at our first class tomorrow afternoon. 

Now here is a downside to all of this.  Since my schedule has changed my sitter is unable to keep my son for the times that I need her.  She has to stay within a certain number of children at certain ages to stay licensed. No problem  She will let me know if she has any openings thought.  I hope.  So I had to make calls.  It would suck to have to drop out of nursing because I don't have child care.  I found a day care in the area.  Since I only go to class half a day they are able to take him.  And better yet they will not require me to bring in sposie diapers.  They will use Timothy's cloth diapers. (My other sitter was willing to do cloth as well). I think I surprised the lady at the day care when I asked about cloth diapers.  I must have been the first.  Not surprising.  She wasn't sure at first.  I told her that they are much easier to use.  They velcro and there are no safety pins.  That sold her and she said yes.  Yeah. I check it out tomorrow to make sure its a nice, safe environment. So that crisis maybe averted.

So my journey through nursing has begun.  I am excited and scared all at the same time.  I have a great support system.  I really wish, however, that my husband was as excited as I am.   I really need to hear from him that all this will work out and that I will be fine. I understand his worries but I could use the assurance.  I will just have to be like Dory from "Finding Nemo"..."Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming.. swimming..swimming.. swimming.

Puking with joy!

Super Nurse Nancy... in a year or two!

At this moment I am not sure whether to run around the house screaming with joy or to hide in the corner behind our blue recliner and bawl. Maybe a bit of both. Wondering why the confusion of emotions? Well, I received a call last night on my answering machine from the nursing adviser where I attend college. She said that there is a spot open in the PNC program (LPN) and would like for me to call her first thing in the morning.

I, of course, immediately got on Facebook and posted my exciting news. My fellow students congratulated me. They knew that I had been on the waiting list. Other friends and family encouraged me. I am so happy and scared (excuse me) shitless!

Classes will start in two days. I have no idea what the schedule will entail at all. So this means figuring out child care. In two days. I have to get my books. Supplies. I have not had an entire summer to mentally prepare myself for this. But as one of my friends told me; I didn't have all summer to mentally psyche myself out either.

Am I ready for this? I am truly scared. Sure I made it through what other people have called a really hard class with an 'A'. I hear some teachers in the back of my mind telling my past classes that "Nursing will be much harder than this. If you are having trouble here don't bother going into nursing." Surely I can do this... right?

The friends I have made in other classes that are in the nursing program are in the RN program. The programs are basically the same except if they pass the first year they are guaranteed a spot the second year. I can pass the first year but may not be able to finish into an RN the following year depending on room in the program and rank. At least I will get to see them at some point maybe. We will be in different classes.

My husband I think has mixed feelings as well. I know he is happy for me. Heck, I have been trying to finish school forever. Its just that the past year I have finally gotten gung ho about it. I have been looking for a job. Things are tight and I need to help our family out. With me getting into the nursing program it will take up a lot of my time. Yes, I know I still need to get a job. I know Jason did not want to say it last night but he did. And I understand. At least yesterday I also received a message from VNA in our area looking for home health aides. I will call them today after I know what is going on with nursing. I plan on working and doing my part.

A downside to this... since I wasn't expecting a stressful school year I signed up to volunteer with big school functions. I was going to co-chair the biggest fundraiser the school has. I am also a Girl Scout leader. I have two troops. Both daughters are in scouts. I have a Daisy troop and a Junior troop. The good thing is that I have great parents that are willing to step up and help out. Thank God for that. I am going to need so much help. Last night before I knew about the nursing call I volunteered to plan a tent camping overnight/ Fall festival for the Girl Scouts in our area. That shouldn't be too hard. I hope. Delegate. Delegate. Delegate.

Okay, so that is what is happening right now. I cannot promise how often I will be on here to blog. I will try my best to be consistent. I am sure I will have some good things to post about while going through nursing school.

I just wish I didn't feel like I was going to puke at any moment. I cannot let my nerves get to me.

Wish me luck!

My Mother Taught Me Better Than That

I just want to state that I am sitting on my front porch swing, drinking a cup of coffee and enjoying the cool breeze. Yes, I said cool. Now, onto today's post.

Yesterday, August 15th, was the 9th anniversary of my mother's death. My mom, Margaret, was an incredible woman. She raised my 3 younger sisters and I. She worked full time. She lived with a very painful illness. She was a girl scout leader. She sang practically every Sunday at Mass. She was hilarious. I get my sense of humor from her.

My mother taught me so much. She taught me how to be a mom. Now she wasn't perfect and neither am I as far as mothering goes. But I'm not striving for perfection. One very important thing my mother taught me was to be a woman of God. Not just a good Catholic woman but a woman of God. Yes, I struggle with that daily. Who doesn't? But being a woman or man of God means that we are to love all of God's people. Not just those we deem worthy.

I try to watch the news and keep up with what is going on in the world. I am not into politics and actually hate it. Recently, I have been hearing more and more about this mosque that may be built near Ground Zero. First, please do not send me hate comments cause I will just delete them and then pray for you. Second, this is my opinion. If you don't agree with me that is fine and your right. Just respect my rights.

I am all for a mosque being built near Ground Zero. My reason is this: We were not attacked by the Muslim faith. We were attacked by al-Qaeda. The more I read about this issue the stronger I feel that I need to speak up. I am a practicing Catholic. I raise my children to be Catholic. I am not a pedophile. Because of what some priests have done, catholics are given a bad name. This happens all the time to all different kinds of groups or religions.

We live in a country that boasts about its freedoms. We the people have to fight for them. Every religion has the right to practice. And if its near Ground Zero, so be it. We really need to think about who we are persecuting. Many Muslims died on September 11th too.

That day was a horrible day. I didn't just cry for the Catholics who were killed. I cried for my country and that includes those who are different than me. I know my mom was looking down on us and crying as well. She wouldn't want me to hate a group of people because of what others did just because they shared similar traits. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I am trying to be the woman my mother and father raised me to be. I am trying to raise my children the same way. But it breaks my heart knowing that each day as my children go to school and say the pledge that our country could turn on them in second if given a chance. We have the power. We are the PEOPLE. Take the lead and open our hearts to our American brothers and sisters. You don't have to agree with them or believe what they do. But please respect them. Respect each other. Cause if we don't then we never learned anything when those planes crashed.